Operation whole again #3

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”

These past three years, I have hit rock bottom, climbed up my pit and fell again. My broken pieces in every attempt to piece them together had flown away with the wind,stripping me of any hope. I think you’d see this in a quite informal no-touching sense cos I’d start bawling if I write how I ached, despaired and cried off most of the days.

I look at who I was before all of this,before I fell into that pit and I see, a beautiful person. And I’m amazed by some of the things I used to do but counted as trivial. I want to go back to that , be even more amazing and use all of my talents in the best possible way and shine!

A SEED HAS TO CRACK, ITS INSIDES SHOULD COME OUT FOR EVERYTHING TO CHANGE. You have to break, only then the light can shine through. It’s when you hit the ground and crack, in that terrible pit called rock bottom, you can grow.

This is me trying to grow growing.

It’s a whole new week ahead and I’ll focus on developing my science writing and building a better sci-comm plan.

Watch out!




Operation Whole again #2

Hey there,

I wouldn’t say the first day was even a tiny bit of success. I only did one thing in my list and that too half-assed or a quarter-assed (there is no such word) if you ask me.

Prepped for net.

Hopefully, can do the rest of the things today with renewed motivation.

Do you have any tips to helps me focus?

Please do share some!!

In dire need of some competition or motivation.



Operation Whole again #1

Today is a bright new day. The birds are chirping. All is green and blue.

I am up and alive, grateful for this day hoping to make it an effective one, practicing what I preach, love.

And also, getting done one f my weekly goals and tasks.

  1. Mail Pol
  2. Apply to Ch
  3. Ap to yu
  4. Prep for NET. Past papers and patterns.
  5. Print hall ticket.

I don’t do much of the things I write down or any at all if there is too much but I think this is doable. To getting up n doing stuff when you dont feel like it.

It’s a post aka an operation to help me through life these days.

A helping-my-self post.



Once upon a time, I thought rules were boring, that it was too much and may be oppressive.
I thought it was unfair in so many ways until I broke them. One or some of them. And I saw, oh I saw, the consequences of those sins, the broken rules, on others lives and not just mine. I saw the heartbreak. And then I saw, oh I saw the beauty of those laws that God so grandly put up. I saw why he despised sin, even the tiniest of them because they wrecked the people he so dearly loved. He warned and yet it happened. Again and again. And then he sent his holy son to my life, the one whose love is Agape love, the one who suffered all for me, to lift me out of the pit I dug and lift me out of the pit he did and put me on his shoulders, shepherd to sheep and rejoiced. I saw how he forgave so much and loved me back asking for nothing in return. His limitless love, his unending grace holding me close and then he held out his hand and walked with me. Every step, every day. And I rejoiced because he took my broken pieces and put them together, and made me more beautiful than I had ever prayed for. He did not just shush my storms. He taught me to smile when the waves almost capsized my boat. My only wish, my dear father, my Lord, my best friend and forever love is to join you at the feast of Abraham sitting near you as Mary and John did and listen to every word you say, to one day love you like you do me, and to live in your will.