Home

Wandering from one place to another in this gypsy life, I have come to realize that home is never a place,it is a feeling that becomes the zest of you.

It is the quaint street with yellow flowers and picket fences. It is the gush of wind that blows against you when you sit lost in thoughts staring at the endless waters and the mighty waves that kiss the shore. It is the rhythm of the seas. It is the pretty purple shell that you found on the beach.

It is the last time you saw your best friend. It’s the stony pavement outside your school where you sat down like orphan beggars on the road.

It’s a book that found you. It’s that precious smile on your little brother.

It’s going to sleep with stories from your grandmother.

It is your favourite golgapa shop.  More than often it is a person whose love clings to you and pushes you forward. It’s that tug of that heart that love’strong hold

Ciao,

Jovi!

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Agape

Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” said God to one of His Angels; and the Angel brought Him the leaden heart and the dead bird.

“You have rightly chosen,” said God, “for in my garden of Paradise this little bird shall sing for evermore, and in my city of gold the Happy Prince shall praise me.

I can never be the happy prince(It is one of those stories that twinges your heart). Even if  others are drowning in an ocean of grief, I cannot stop myself from grumbling on my little  problems. The happy prince of Oscar Wilde gave away his rubies and eyes[sapphires] to help the poor in need, to  encourage the playwright who lost his inspiration, to a little girl who lost all the wares she sold in a puddle of water. The happy prince never complained nor did his messenger, the swallow. Don’t I complain or even remember a small act I did as the greatest thing in the world when the happy prince gave his own eyes and the swallow,his life? The swallow who was to fly away to Egypt stuck on with the prince after he lost both his eyes and gave himself to death.

The happy prince and the swallow are  the symbols of self-sacrifice and love, of Christ, the one who sacrificed his life for the whole of mankind so that we may have eternal life.


Jovi!

Landour days

One of the best journals that I have ever read is Landour days by Ruskin bond. He captures the magic of writing in a way that no other could.

I can see him sitting on a hilltop on the grass with his typewriter penning down the words that weaves magic into our souls.I can see him taking those long walks on the roads of Mussoorie. When he talks about how being alone and being lonely are two very different things, it surprised me that someone else thought the same things I did. The  winter flowers he talked about, the summer flowers he loved, the cold hills of Mussoorie, the quirky people, I loved them , I smelled them, I met them, I felt them, it felt like petrichor, all the while reading curled up on my bed on a cool breezy rainy day.

 

Lost and found #1

For the past month or two, I have been trying to get up and write, ideas fleeted through and yet when I  looked to pen them down, words vanished.

My last past was “I’m back” but truthfully speaking, I wasn’t though I meant to. I thought about giving up blogging but I couldn’t. I am in some ways lost and this was a medium to rediscover myself, I know some pieces of myself but there are parts that are still confusing.

I have been trying to change my life around, become a better person, more kind, more patient , knowledgeable,  but there are still parts of me that is hard to let go.

To the confusing bits of myself, to the clueless bits of myself, listen : you know what you want, you know who you want to be me, do not give up, strive harder, you know your goal , if it is not working, change the way you go about it.

And with that, I’m truly back.

Ciao,

Jovi!

I am back!

Hello friends, fellow bloggers and you amazing people who read me,

I am back! And with a bang? My English teacher would condemn the use of this punctuation, I do care but I will let it slide this once, “It’s okay, Jovi”.

After a break of more than a month , I am back.

The past month was testing, life changing, humbling, painful and miraculous.

I wouldn’t wish the pain I suffered through on my worst enemy. More about that on a later post.

There was a moment through the last month when my family thought I was going to shed my mortal coil but His steadfast love, merciful love, Agape love, stitched my soul onto my body and kept me safe under his wings. Thank you, Lord!

For now, I am back here in my own little space to write my heart out, to be myself and be happy, content and make a change hopefully.

Love,

Jovi!

The Lord’s answer

Joel 2: 21-27
Be not afraid and be glad and rejoice, the Lord has done great things

Be not afraid for the open pastures are becoming green

Trees are bearing their  fruit , the fig tree and the vine yeild their riches

Be glad, Jovi , rejoice in the Lord for He has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. 

I will send you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.

The threshing floors will be filled with grain;

The vats will overflow with new wine and oil

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. 

I have sent my great army for you

You will have plenty to eat until you are full

You will praise the name of the Lord who has worked wonders for you

Never again will you be shamed

You will know that I am the Lord your God

The Lord who loves you, understands you, cares for you, holds your hand, tells you the secrets that runs in the deep and heals you with his healing blood, the Lord who has watched over you all your life, who framed each cell of your being in the womb, who knew you even before you were born. This is my promise. I will watch over you and I will be be by your side no matter what, loving you.

Bent not broken#2 (On a break)

Heya!

Three more days to the surgery. Hold me in your prayers. I don’t know when I’ll be able to post next. I’ll be in the ICU for a few days and then under bed rest. 

Perfect love casts out fear. The God of everything, the lily of the valley, my rose, my Lord is with me. He said, “Cast your anxiety on me for I care for you”. So, I gave him my burden and he is amazing enough to work miracles. ☺

Hope you all out there are well. Catch you with a quirky post as soon as I am back.

Ciao,

Jovi!

Microfiction #9

there is a crowd
panic settles in
and I stand there with a smile
plastered on my nervous face

come out, come out,
I beckon
but no words escape
my voice box

someone asks me something
I look in awe
and hide behind that façade
they call a smile

I wish I could open my mouth
and captive the crowd with
an astounding spell of charisma
but alas!
no courage emerges

baby steps, I say

I didn’t know there was
a name for me
an introvert they say
but am I glad
there are others like me

Bent not broken #1

*From the time I started blogging, I have wanted to write about this but it has remained the hardest topic to write on. I have started and found no words many a time.But it’s time and I have to write this because I am a Scoliosis warrior*

I am asymmetric. Yep! You heard me right. I have uneven shoulders, a curvy spine, a curvy posture, and the left of my rib cage protrudes out. My clothes hang weird on me. I can’t wear form fitting clothes. Most of the time the clothes I wear bother me because they are not made for asymmetric folks like me. People tell me to stand straight , I get annoyed and let me tell you folks who keep telling me to stand straight or sit straight, mind your own business. If I could, I would have.

I was diagnosed at 13 with a 35 degree thoracic curve, a “c” curve to the layman, and I met many a doctor who wanted to cut me open and screw up my spine. No one knew Why? or What? I was confused. One doctor said it was because of my posture(he could not be more wrong), another said it must have been trauma, I didn’t trust their skills enough to risk a spine surgery. To date, no one really knows the real cause of scoliosis.

What’s scoliosis you ask? Normal people have a straight spine, we , scoliosis warriors do not, ours is S shaped or C shaped. I’ll scare you with my X ray at the end of this note. Watch out.

I can’t run for long, climb for long, cycle for long or exert myself too much, my back ends in pain. With the change in the skeletal structure, there is also a change in the muscular structure of the body , hence the pain.

Do you know how jealous I get when I see someone donning a sari and showing off their perfect straight back? Yep, that’s what I get jealous of 😛

Continue reading “Bent not broken #1”