The dreary hollow that is inevitable with change creeps upon me every time that I arrive at the airport. Suddenly a longing fills me, and that’s what most of us call missing home.
The first time I felt it I was eight, riding towards the airport I felt that void and an inner dread seized me and I knew life would be different. Life’s good but you always wonder what would have happened if you did not take the road you took.
Going off to college was the hardest time I have ever had. I was lonely and the void inside me could not be filled. I missed home, I missed my mom and I was immediately regretful of all the times I was mean to my siblings. Sure, they annoyed me but torturing me was their way of saying “I love you”. Late at nights, and I mean 10’o clock when I say ‘late’, the longing for home would take over and my pillows would silently soak in the tears. The one thing that kept me rooted and did not let me quit was God’s word. I read on Christ’s ‘unfailing love’ and how he cares for us. His love is unmatched. His love is incomparable. His love kept me going. I started a journal the first year of college and still continue writing. Whenever the void takes me by surprise, I look into it , I read God’s word and all the things I have told him, I look into it and see all the awesome ways he has answered my prayers, I look into it and see how he has comforted me over the years, I look into it and I see His mighty love.
He told me he cares for me. He took my burden and spoof, I was free. When I sinned, and believed I was not worthy to talk to Him, he told me he understood my nature and that he still cares, he still loves. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” his unfailing love supported me. When I fell into the pit, he raised me up. When fear overtook me, he told me to trust him. What I thought was impossible, he made possible.
I know for a fact that when He said ,”Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”, he did not mean it just figuratively, he meant it literally! He made the red seas part, he took down the wall of Jericho, he made the sun stand still, he changed water to wine and fed five loaves of bread and two fish to five thousand people. He made the heavens and the earth. He made the sea and gave rhythm to the waves, and hung the stars ,each of them, and all the science that people crack their heads over, quantum electrodynamics, the really weird formulas,the math and all that stuff that is greek to us, he designed and I am amazed. When I see the snow white clouds hung perfectly over the brick red mountains, I am not just taken by the vision or the science of it, I am amazed by how God so made it. I want to know what, why and how he made it, what he thought when he put together each cell,each atom and breathed life and love into us.
When I sit down to pray, He sits beside me, he holds my hand and he talks to me. When I am tensed, he gives me a comforting hug . He holds my hand and walks with me the way he has paved for me. Though I miss my family, I will never miss Him because he will always be my side. Lord, I love you.