A lesson from 12-year-old Me

Failure is the stepping stone to success.

So sayeth someone. A 12-year-old me, in a 12-year-old’s predicament, embraced this quote, self-discipline and most importantly, prayer and depended on God to give me wisdom.

I failed in Chem. Yep, failed. Reason: I couldn’t for the life of (12-year-old)me comprehend it. I was down. I despaired. But there were another set of exams coming, the final term and 12-year old me didn’t just want to survive it. 12-year old me wanted to excel it.

I embraced this quote. I told myself that this was my step to success. It wasn’t a step-down.  I pulled my chem text out. I laid my hands on it and prayed. I asked God to help me understand it, and give me wisdom and knowledge just like He did Solomon.

I sat down on my table, tidied it up and burned the midnight oil. I wrote up a time-table and stuck to it. Every day, every day I learned chemistry and I laid my hand on each page and prayed, each page you hear!

Exams were not far in sight, I devised a revision time-table where I revised each subject at least three times. I made mock tests, took them, corrected them, scored them and became my own teacher.

At the end of the year, I didn’t just excel in chemistry, I excelled in all the other subjects too by the grace of God. Twelve-year-old me learned a valuable lesson, twelve-year-old me also realized the value of prayer and grace, twelve-year-old me also understood the reaps of a self-disciplined life.

25-year-old me forgot all these lessons and the brave strong persevering heart of a 12-year-old me, in a 25-year-old’s predicament. Looking back, 25-year-old me is immensely proud of 12-year-old me and now let me take this booster of lessons, run my race, jump over my hurdles and touch the skies.


Blogtober #3 : Lost and found

The most beautiful thing in life is relationships. This is to those that I lost and to those that Life carried along.

I remember playing around with her, exploring, singing ringa ringa roses in front of the school waiting for our auto to take off, sitting on her lap in the auto, going to nursery, running with the spoon in our mouths balancing a lemon, going to her with all my quirky doubts about life, she had all the answers. She was my first friend, but more like a big sister.

There was one incident during my little sister’s baptism where another girl wouldn’t get off my swing and the little angel that I was, was pretty annoyed. She immediately came to my rescue and sent the little girl scurrying and gave me back my prized throne aka the swing.

I don’t know how we drifted apart but  I remember missing her through the years.  I still prayed for her on her birthday even though I didn’t wish her.

I got quiet over the years, talked very little and to very few people. I met her again a few months ago and she is the same sweet loving person that she was, voice a little different from what I remember though. I’ll always regret the drifting away part- how or why. This is to say that I always cared and I always will and that you matter to me.



She taught me how to light a match stick.

My days in the chemistry lab were dark and obnoxious. I had to start my first day in the lab spurting acid on the  eye of my best friend .

The thought that the stroke of my matchstick would put the tiny room in flames  and the idea of holding fire for some seconds on a tiny twig  was eating my brave nature.

I was nervous.  It gave me nightmares to even think of lighting the match stick.

I never overcame it.

The days sped and I lived. So  did  my fear.

Every day in the chemistry lab she would ask me to light the fire. My eyebrows would twitch and my eyes  would plead.

Please don’t give me this heinous task.

She would read my eyes  and insist I do it. Halfheartedly , I would light the fire and heave a sigh when I see that the room didn’t explode.

She ‘d occasionally pull out my ear  when I was too lazy to do my homework.

All the afternoon calls she’d made to see if I was embracing my afternoon siesta instead of pouring myself over textbooks and all those times she caught us in the corridor and sprang chemistry questions on us, all that and more, makes me smile every time I think about her.

I’ll always remember the love she had for us.

The hunter and the dog

You might have probably been thrown off by the title or not.Short story short, this is not a short story or a fable by Aesop.

Am I being a bit presumptuous?

The hunter and the dog aka Orion and Cansa major , finally came into the view of my brains and eyes,of course?

Is that a dog? Is that a head? Is that a what in the heavens not? So goes my head in all of my star gazing sessions. Ani would point at some bright speck in the sky and claim it to be Jupiter. My head would whirl and I’d have no idea how she knew. How do you know a planet from a star? How do you know it’s Jupiter and not Venus? So goes my list of questions. My inability to make out farther than Orion’s belt has thinned into air this december.

It’s the season to be jolly, la la la la lalala…. 

I was back home in kerala where the skies are clear, the water green and the soil rich. The starry sky lit up in all its glory and I summoned up the courage to go up the terrace in the dark with my kid brother.It was dark and I could hear the faint murmour of the seas, the light house lights went sweeping about the sky and straight up lying down, the stars themselves looked down upon me and my eyes met them. The belt, the shoulders, the legs and the arrow and Betelguese shining orange at me. Jupiter shone down and Sirius, the brightest smiled. Orion and Cansa major, I could see.Ecstatic, I pointed em all out to Sam and he was thrilled and right at that moment, a shooting star sped along Orion’s belt making it the best night among many nights.

Planets don’t twinkle, stars do. Planets are way brighter than stars. Get a diagram of the constellation and look up Orion,you will know how easy it is. The position of the constellations changes with time and you can tell time by their positions and that is how the ancients knew to tell time. Sailors told time by knowing the positions of the constellations and now, I know.😊  Venus is the bright evening star visible from 6:45 to 8 something. Jupiter appears from 8 to 10 something. And now, you know too 😊.

From some damn stupid essay that I read in ug that there is beauty in ignorance, that there is some magic to not knowing the names of all the flowers out there and when spring comes you learn it all anew and forget, I thought ignorance was bliss. But I was wrong, atleast in my case, there is a beauty in knowing, when I look up at the starry sky and my heart sings that I know two of those stars by name and I know where they are, my heart sings in joy for He hung up each of the stars and called them each by name and I know two of  them up in the sky 😀. There is a beauty in knowing.There is beauty in wisdom. This is treasure and digging it up is pleasure.

I flew back to sharjah today and before the descent, when we were up in the sky, I saw Jupiter shining in all its glory on the starred city. A thousand lights glimmered in the sea and I sunk in the pleasure of knowing.

So, I guess this is a lesson learnt and this post short of an Aesop’s fable, after all.

Moral of the story: Don’t feign ignorance, dig up treasure aka knowledge.