I am back!

Hello friends, fellow bloggers and you amazing people who read me,

I am back! And with a bang? My English teacher would condemn the use of this punctuation, I do care but I will let it slide this once, “It’s okay, Jovi”.

After a break of more than a month , I am back.

The past month was testing, life changing, humbling, painful and miraculous.

I wouldn’t wish the pain I suffered through on my worst enemy. More about that on a later post.

There was a moment through the last month when my family thought I was going to shed my mortal coil but His steadfast love, merciful love, Agape love, stitched my soul onto my body and kept me safe under his wings. Thank you, Lord!

For now, I am back here in my own little space to write my heart out, to be myself and be happy, content and make a change hopefully.

Love,

Jovi!

The Lord’s answer

Joel 2: 21-27
Be not afraid and be glad and rejoice, the Lord has done great things

Be not afraid for the open pastures are becoming green

Trees are bearing their  fruit , the fig tree and the vine yeild their riches

Be glad, Jovi , rejoice in the Lord for He has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. 

I will send you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.

The threshing floors will be filled with grain;

The vats will overflow with new wine and oil

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. 

I have sent my great army for you

You will have plenty to eat until you are full

You will praise the name of the Lord who has worked wonders for you

Never again will you be shamed

You will know that I am the Lord your God

The Lord who loves you, understands you, cares for you, holds your hand, tells you the secrets that runs in the deep and heals you with his healing blood, the Lord who has watched over you all your life, who framed each cell of your being in the womb, who knew you even before you were born. This is my promise. I will watch over you and I will be be by your side no matter what, loving you.

Bent not broken#2 (On a break)

Heya!

Three more days to the surgery. Hold me in your prayers. I don’t know when I’ll be able to post next. I’ll be in the ICU for a few days and then under bed rest. 

Perfect love casts out fear. The God of everything, the lily of the valley, my rose, my Lord is with me. He said, “Cast your anxiety on me for I care for you”. So, I gave him my burden and he is amazing enough to work miracles. ☺

Hope you all out there are well. Catch you with a quirky post as soon as I am back.

Ciao,

Jovi!

One year anniversary

Yay! It’s been one year since I started blogging. I have blogged before but did not have a steady set of audience as of now. One year back, I was pretty clueless as to what next, fast forward to today, I am on my way out of the rut, I despaired then, I hope now, I had no faith then, I believe now.

Was I a good person then? I don’t know . Am I better now? In some ways, yes.

I know my faults, the hard thing is to weed out the things that do not make me Me.

I thought I was lost, spiritually and .. But you know what, God heeds a broken heart.  I wondered if after the hundred and one times I strayed, forgot to pray, if I was worthy for his love, if he would love me and I asked him for a sign. I shouldn’t have but I believed I was truly lost.  I have a basil plant here, a small one and it was not doing good this winter. It was decaying from root up. I lost a few saplings and the others were decaying. I asked God to heal them and keep them well alive to show me that I could also live again. One month later, the leaves still bloom in the saplings that started decaying. They are alive and I am happy.

God spoke to me through different people, through the parable of the lost sheep.

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

I was the lost sheep and he came after me. I am no longer lost because he loves me. While I despaired before, I hope and I believe now.

Breaking the outer man and letting the inner man grow is one of the hardest things out there. It’s a battle. It’s a spiritual war. One thing that you need to know is that He will never give up on you. If you are the lost sheep, he will come after you, he will pick you up and put you over his shoulders, love you unconditionally and give you joy and happiness in leaps and bounds.

Am I a better person? In some ways, yes.

It’s been one year blogging and this is my heart on paper.  I wrote to my heart’s will, met some amazing people out here, and I think I grew out my social anxiety disorder( a little credit to blogging) . This year’s been insightful, I looked into my soul and I cannot tell you if I liked what I saw but I’ll weed out the bad and plant good in my heart. This is a promise that I’ll be a better person, I’ll be who I want to be, fearless and brave, spiritual and kind. I’ll look into myself one day and be proud of who I am.

Ciao,

Jovi!

On getting out of the rut #1

I used to think that the Israelites were ungrateful brats. And that if the Lord, did the same things for me , if he brought me out of my chains, if he parted the seas for me, if he made the Sun stand still for me, if he took down the wall of Jericho for me, if he parted heavens and showered down heavenly food when I was hungry, I would be eternally grateful. But you know what? He did those for me. He moved my mountains and brought forth new springs for me, and yet  I wasn’t grateful, not in the least.

A few weeks back, I was despairing over what next. I am stuck, and it’s been a year. I kept thinking that I made the wrong choice choosing physics and suffering through Masters. I felt like I can’t go ahead and that I won’t get into a PhD program,  I was worrying my head off and then it struck me, what a hypocrite I was being,  God moved mountains for me and there I was whining. My final semester, I had a paper called spectroscopy, still don’t understand a word of it or even quantum mechanics for that matter. Anyway, I slept through the final exam, I mugged up the whole thing over so much coffee the night before and didn’t sleep a wink. There was literally nothing on my answer sheet, the ones I knew the answers to I messed up the question numbers and I forgot half way through the answers. I knew I would fail. The month that I was waiting for my results, I would just stare at my convocation tickets and feel guilty that my parents wouldn’t be able to go. But my mom, she prayed, she had faith and you know what, even when I had no faith, He was faithful, the results came and I passed, a miracle no short. There were people who failed but I didn’t. He did the impossible for me and there I was whining, worrying, and being ungrateful. If it’s his will, it will fall right into your hands, if it’s not it will fall through and be gracious and know that He has the best in store for you. No man has seen, no man has dreamt what the Almighty has kept for you. Be gracious and hold on to hope, look back and be grateful for his love.

I stopped worrying over what next and there is a calm now. He says he cares for you, He understands you and he wants you to place your burdens at his feet so he can be there for you. Trust him with all of you and  have faith,even when you feel like there is no other  way. Remember his miracles. So when life gives you a mean kick, and if you are in a rut like I am, know that things will change for you and hold on, because all will be well.

The A-Z tag & The Real Neat Blog Award

Hello folks!

I was reading Allie’s post and thinking that the A-Z tag was Amazing and I scroll down to see that I was nominated to do it and the real neat blog award, Yay! Thank you, Allie! 😀

The A-Z Tag

A– A for umm…Aurora, B- Beaches, C– Chocolate Cake 😛 , D– Daughter, E-Eloquence, F– Faith, G– God, H-Hope or Hiraeth (home sickness for a home you can’t return to), I– Ice cream,J – Jurassic Park, K-Klutz, L- Love, M– Messier 53 (a star cluster, okay, I am being a geek, but that’s the globular cluster I spent a year researching , and cost me many a sleepless night, I was walking around like a zombie, high on coffee and not sleeping for weeks.) ,N– New, O– Odyssey, P– Petrichor (that earthy smell of the ground after the rains), Q– Queen, R – Ruggedly handsome , S– Solitude , T– Talk to the hand (the meme, a bit rude, don’t you think?), U– Universe , V– Venus(the planet), W– W(tungsten) , X– X’mas, Y– Yam, Z – Zircon (a gem)

THE REAL NEAT BLOG AWARD!

The Rules:

Thank and link the blogger who nominated you
Answer the 7 questions they asked you
Nominate 7 bloggers for this award and let them know
Ask 7 questions for your nominees

The Questions and Answers :

  1. What is your favorite book?

It changes every year or at least every time I read an amazing book, now it is The book Thief by Markus Zusak, before that it was To kill a mocking bird by Harper Lee  and before that it was Landour days by Ruskin Bond and before that, I should probably stop here,okay just one more, the Famous Five and Secret Seven series by Enid Blyton. Oh wait, did I mention Pride and Prejudice?

2.What is your least favorite color?

Red. Okay, I do have lots of clothes in red but red just makes me think of danger and I am a scaredy cat, honestly, I am a chicken.

3.Favorite song at the moment?

In Christ Alone 🙂

4.Who is your least favorite celebrity?

Bugs bunny. Okay, Bugs bunny is just a cartoon character but I used to love the cartoons and ate carrots only because of him. And, grown up me watched a rerun of the looney tunes and I can’t help but be disappointed! All I see is an egoistic and narcissistic rabbit  terrorising  the poor placating humans.

5.If you were transported into any book or movie what would it be?

Nope, not Harry Potter, magic is scary and I don’t wanna end up as fodder to dementors. Definitely, Famous five, the way Enid Blyton makes your mouth water with the food in the books, I wanna go in eat’em all and lounge in George’s  private island.

6.How is a raven like a writing desk?

“the riddle has no answer, unless it does. But it doesn’t, however it might.”

7.Do you have a conspiracy theory or theories you believe in completely?

The theory of creation and not the theory of evolution.

Now for the nominees,

Jazzy Blogs

Simpledimple

Ruth

Jim

Vignesh

3375f

You are welcome to do it if you like 🙂 and these are my questions :

  1. Favourite Quote?
  2. If you could be a superhero, who would you be?
  3. Favourite color?
  4. Do you know to climb trees?
  5. Why did you start your blog?
  6. Favourite series?
  7. Do you have a crush on a fictional character, if so who? 😛

So, that’s about it folks.

Ciao,

Jovi!

On reading

It started with Cinderella and Rapunzel, Alice in wonderland, Aesop’s fables and all those little stories in text books, balarama, Tinkle, Akbar and Birbal, Tenali Raman …

Famous Five to Secret Seven, Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes and Shakespeare…

Harry Potter..

Robert Frost, Wordsworth, Coleridge, e e cummings, Emily Dickinson…

Ruskin Bond, John Green, Grisham, Sidney Sheldon…

Wodehouse, Jhumpa Lahiri, Markus Zusak and many more.

Each time I read, I am not reading, I am morphing into an invisible time travelling ghost that fleets through the scenes, the one who knows it all . It’s pleasure that no else can give.

Maybe that’s why I am a fast reader because I need to dwell in that fantasy world. I read, I finish and I get back to reality. But when I read, I need to do it in one sweeping motion, no matter how many hours it take, in one sweep, I need to do it.

                                      16110980_214737075597317_7183075838961647616_n

                          “She reads books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live”
I have been trying to ease in and read in a slow pace, but that never happened except for non fiction. I know it’s important to read slowly, absorb and think about it. But does fiction fit that bill? Sure, I do that for non fiction. I have been wondering if I should pause, and maybe stop reading more than three books a week. Is it too much? I mean, there was a week where I read about 25 novels, back to back, non stop.

So here I am, promising myself that I will read only one book per week unless it’s a thriller. I’ll re read and analyze , absorb and remember.

What do you go for? Fast paced or slow?

Ciao,

Jovi!

“I am still on my zigzag way, pursuing the diagonal between reason and heart.”

I am on my own way treading the line between reason and heart, if only they were parallel to each other.

On this zigzag Brownian motion, I have collided with many other particles, some suck out the life out of me, some instilled in me new life and kept me moving, some just took all I had and left me stand still.

But I always, always move on, even if I am lost for a second, I move on, I buzz about and bombard with other particles.

 

The hunter and the dog

You might have probably been thrown off by the title or not.Short story short, this is not a short story or a fable by Aesop.

Am I being a bit presumptuous?

The hunter and the dog aka Orion and Cansa major , finally came into the view of my brains and eyes,of course?

Is that a dog? Is that a head? Is that a what in the heavens not? So goes my head in all of my star gazing sessions. Ani would point at some bright speck in the sky and claim it to be Jupiter. My head would whirl and I’d have no idea how she knew. How do you know a planet from a star? How do you know it’s Jupiter and not Venus? So goes my list of questions. My inability to make out farther than Orion’s belt has thinned into air this december.

It’s the season to be jolly, la la la la lalala…. 

I was back home in kerala where the skies are clear, the water green and the soil rich. The starry sky lit up in all its glory and I summoned up the courage to go up the terrace in the dark with my kid brother.It was dark and I could hear the faint murmour of the seas, the light house lights went sweeping about the sky and straight up lying down, the stars themselves looked down upon me and my eyes met them. The belt, the shoulders, the legs and the arrow and Betelguese shining orange at me. Jupiter shone down and Sirius, the brightest smiled. Orion and Cansa major, I could see.Ecstatic, I pointed em all out to Sam and he was thrilled and right at that moment, a shooting star sped along Orion’s belt making it the best night among many nights.

Planets don’t twinkle, stars do. Planets are way brighter than stars. Get a diagram of the constellation and look up Orion,you will know how easy it is. The position of the constellations changes with time and you can tell time by their positions and that is how the ancients knew to tell time. Sailors told time by knowing the positions of the constellations and now, I know.😊  Venus is the bright evening star visible from 6:45 to 8 something. Jupiter appears from 8 to 10 something. And now, you know too 😊.

From some damn stupid essay that I read in ug that there is beauty in ignorance, that there is some magic to not knowing the names of all the flowers out there and when spring comes you learn it all anew and forget, I thought ignorance was bliss. But I was wrong, atleast in my case, there is a beauty in knowing, when I look up at the starry sky and my heart sings that I know two of those stars by name and I know where they are, my heart sings in joy for He hung up each of the stars and called them each by name and I know two of  them up in the sky 😀. There is a beauty in knowing.There is beauty in wisdom. This is treasure and digging it up is pleasure.

I flew back to sharjah today and before the descent, when we were up in the sky, I saw Jupiter shining in all its glory on the starred city. A thousand lights glimmered in the sea and I sunk in the pleasure of knowing.

So, I guess this is a lesson learnt and this post short of an Aesop’s fable, after all.

Moral of the story: Don’t feign ignorance, dig up treasure aka knowledge.